From the Desk of Prof Dipti Oza (Counsellor)

Gardener: The Nurturer I always receive complaints from parents and teachers that their children do not listen to them, they argue, at times that they are rebel, they do not respect, etc…. sometimes they express anxiety what will they become, if they do not listen to us what will be their future, will they be able to manage themselves? ….and so on. Today I would like to say something on this. Who is making these complains? Need to understand. A father or a mother or a teacher or a master (Malik)? Have you ever seen the GARDNER (Mali)? How he takes care of different plants? It is very interesting to observe. The gardener, looking at different plants, decides to put some plants under direct sun light, some under tree as those plant cannot bear direct heat of sun and also change their place periodically, to some plants gives water daily, to some alternate day, to some in the beginning more care then give space and pace ...

आज  जब हमारे माननीय प्रधान मंत्रीजी ने lockdown की अवधि बढा दी तो कुछ बच्चोको अच्छा नहीं लगा तो बडोने कहा के  ये पल  भी  बित   जायेंगे । तब मुझे एकदमसे एक कहानी याद  आ गयी। शायद आपको अच्छा लगे  और ऐसा भी हो सकता हे की आपने ये कहानी सुनी भी हो।  एक बड़ा राजा था। अपने दरबार में , दरबारी के साथ रोज नए विषय पर चर्चा करता था। हर दरबारी बहोत कुशल एवं चतुर थे। सब नई चर्चा में शामिल होते थे। ऐक दिन राजाने कहा आप सब मुझे कोई ऐसा वाक्य, सूत्र  या विचार दे जिसका अर्थ हर परिस्थिति में एक ही रहे और उसका मतलब अर्थपूर्ण ही रहे। सब इस पर बहोत चर्चा करते हे। एक से एक नए विचार प्रदर्शित होते हे। सब विचारो को  अलग अलग परस्थितिओ में जांचा जाता हे। मगर कुछ एक परिस्थिति ठीक हे तो कुछ अलग में नहीं। ये चर्चा बहोत  दिन चली मगर एक भी ऐसा विचार या वाक्य या सूत्र ऐसा  नहीं मिला जिस से सब को संतोष हो। राजा निराश हो गया। क्या मुझे ये वाक्य नहीं मिलेगा ? कुछ ज्ञानी इस पर रोज सोचते पर  निराश होते। एक दिन कोई...

Hi..... Today I received a beautiful and interesting whatsapp Image. Which I decided to share with you. Here it is: Very interesting Venn diagram with intersections which explains the relationship Zen. It helps us to understand how one needs to or prefers to deal with people around. There are four conditions: People who like you people  who don't like you    People you like people you don't like    There are many people around us. we have interactions with them, with some we feel good, some give us stress, some create tensions and guilt, etc. This diagram helps us to understand the reason to some extent...like You can ENJOY the relationship with the people you like and the people who like you. A win -win situation where both of you enjoy with each other . You can ACCEPT the relationship with the people you like and  people who do not like you. A win-lose situation because you like the person, accept him/...

Why am I like this? This question comes in mind quite often. How do we try to address it? with the help of first Name? By Family name? By all ascribe traits? or by achieved traits? Yes, all these may help us to locate ourselves in society, community, profession etc. But sometimes with all descriptions I am not satisfied. Specially when I wish to get some answers to why I behave like this or  why I think like that or why I could not answer or react the way I wanted to.....etc. Then how will I help myself to get the answer? It is not easy but also not impossible. I need to become aware of all the behaviours which I do. We have major four processes whereby I can understand the behaviour I do. 1. Perception: How do I perceive the happening around me? Why do I perceive like it?                        (How do I see and give meaning to it on the basis of my previous experiences?) 2....

Are you comfortable with yourself? Yes, I am. Why not? Ok, then tell me, when do you feel good to be with you? Many times. Will you recall and share those moments…please../ umh….   Not able to recall so aptly… but many Ok… just try to tell me when you were not comfortable with you or not happy with you? Oh.. so simple…now that you are asking so not feeling good/ not comfortable or when I am not able to do what I want to do or in the manner in which I want it to be done etc. Umh….will you illustrate why? I want to do what I want and the way I want…so not comfortable… But why. Feeling uncomfortable? I am not in the frame of acceptance it comes, so it stresses me as it compels me to think, feel, act what I did not want. Is it always necessary for what you want, that only happens? I don’t think so, but still, I always wish that to happen Why? To feel good. It pampers my ego…I feel empowered…so So? I cannot explain, but it is winning feeling Ok, ...