Gardener: The Nurturer

Gardener: The Nurturer

I always receive complaints from parents and teachers that their children do not listen to them, they argue, at times that they are rebel, they do not respect, etc…. sometimes they express anxiety what will they become, if they do not listen to us what will be their future, will they be able to manage themselves? ….and so on.

Today I would like to say something on this.

Who is making these complains? Need to understand. A father or a mother or a teacher or a master (Malik)?

Have you ever seen the GARDNER (Mali)? How he takes care of different plants? It is very interesting to observe.

The gardener, looking at different plants, decides to put some plants under direct sun light, some under tree as those plant cannot bear direct heat of sun and also change their place periodically, to some plants gives water daily, to some alternate day, to some in the beginning more care then give space and pace to its own growth. He gives fertilizer, water as per the need of the plant. He knows that some are flowering plants, some will give fruits and some will just grow beautifully with long leaves, of course all, at its own time, he knows some will remain tiny, some will grow tall, he never expects Rose plant to give Mogra or Lily flower, flower with or without fragrance, at the same time he understands their IDENTITY so never indulge. Respects their IDENTITY and because of which the garden looks beautiful with flowers of different colours, different fragrance, difference is their ‘pahechan’ their IDENTITY. If you have seen closely you would see that when he does any of his gardening activity whether it is watering, removing leaves or unnecessary grown grass or taking any kind of care, either he is singing or he is talking with the plant, always with pleasant mood.  While nurturing he also believes that if he is shouting, or doing halfheartedly or transfer any negativity, the plant’s development may get affected, it might die prematurely.

I am sure you will agree with these observations. Then how is he able to do such wonderful work?

Both as teachers and parents, you have very pious intention and feel responsible for your children/students development. But your insecurity, anxiety, fear of failure as parent’s or teacher’s role make you detectors and start believing that you are the only complete, perfect, wise person for child and his/her welfare. You don’t TRUST children fully. And you unconsciously and unintendedly become MASTER (malik)of the child. 

First of all, let us understand and accept that the Gardener does not have formal degree/s of Horticulture or anything related to plant nurturing but he unconditionally trusts and loves each plant equally. He has faith in each plant that it has potentials to grow. He has patience that each plant has its own time and pace to grow. He never thrust any dos or don’ts on them, as he is sure that GIVEN appropriate NURTURING, plant will develop its potentials in the best way. He never has any doubt or anxiety that what will be the future of the plant. He has strong conviction in his present nurturing style. Never has any expectation of the return from the plant in any kind.. always believes in its fullest development.

Now what do you think you would like to become MASTER (MALIK) or GARDENER (MALI) for your child’s development? I think you all would like to drop “K” and become MALI…A Nurturing soul..

You also want that your child be best person in world. It is very simple to assure this

1.       Accept your child unconditionally.

2.       Respect as a unique and significant human being.

3.       Try to appreciate and acknowledge child’s abilities and potentialities.

4.       Provide conducive environment for the development.

5.       Never compare… No child is similar, we human are incomparable, unique

6.       Instead of talking to child, start talking with child and understand him/her and act accordingly

7.       Trust your self, and keep your intentions clear and focus

8.    Don’t own the child, own the responsibility of NURTURING the child. Act as a MALI, not as a    master(MALIK)